It’s the second straight summer we’ve been back in the United States and it’s the second straight summer of cross-cultural weirdness. Many are familiar with the concept of re-entry, it’s the idea that when you come back after being immersed in a different way of life in a different place and you find that your home no longer feels like home or that your sense of belonging at times is put into question because you’re out of step with what’s happening you.
One area relates to technology and just general competence. A few years ago we had quite a time trying to figure out self-checkout registers at stores. A good example is the newfangled fountain soda machines in fast food restaurants. Last year we were driving to a cross-cultural training in Colorado and we stopped at a Wendy’s in Utah – which has always been a culture shock for me anyway coming from California!
Have you seen these soda machines?
Our family finished ordering and then proceeded to be paralyzed by the soda machine. All five of us – literally just staring at it with no idea what to do. We had been there for 3-4 minutes like cavemen seeing fire for the first time when a 12-person family that had ordered behind us noticed our confusion and asked, “Do you need any help?”
We humbly took a listen in fancy soda machines and then went to our table feeling like space aliens. We laughed about it and still laugh about it. The first time we saw one of these machines this summer we all laughed and nostalgically called back that day in Utah where we felt so incompetent and strange.
Things change fast in society anyways and there’s a good chance some of these moments would have to be experienced and conquered at some point anyway. But it means something different when you encounter them after being gone in a different world – it raises subtle insecurities and feelings that the world, your world or what your world used to be, is passing you by. And in a small way you feel like you’re on the outside because you’re not in step, you don’t know the rules of how things work.
Given enough time you start to readjust, but every year we live overseas there’s a stronger tension over belonging when we come home. That’s some of the weirdness of living in between two worlds.
Our lives, as they reflect more and more a third culture reality, are becoming more increasingly characterized by this strangeness around the notion of belonging. It’s funny how even small things like fancy soda machines can trigger those feelings!
Here’s one website that deals a lot with the third culture reality of people going back and forth if you’re curious to read more http://www.transition-dynamics.com/– great stuff on liminality and other elements of living “in-between” if your interested in more! And I’ll post some more re-entry moments in the coming weeks.
